reflection on relating consciously

There seem to be two camps in the relationships advice playing fields. You get the drama addicted, pop psychology camp who believe in lots of ‘shoulds’.

These usually include the need to choose a partner very very very carefully who should provide money, happiness, security, unlimited time and attention, as well as should evidence specific masculine or feminine behaviours which will compliment you perfectly, throughout your life. Of course there are certain behavioural expectations that you should show in return, otherwise the whole house of cards will come tumbling down.

The other camp are the wandering mystical never-be-tied-downs who quote Krishnamurti, Rumi and Tolle in the most abstract, persistent and perplexing manner possible. They are also impossible to relate to on any meaningful level. If you ever reflect anything back to them, or make a suggestion for improving something in the relationship you will swiftly be reminded that you are simply projecting and that they are a higher spiritual being who is free to act, be and talk anyway that they like! When you want to get into the messy muddiness of actual relatedness you will instead be swept away by prose and philosophy which obscures anything as simple as a request to put the toilet seat down.

This seems more  like a caricature of a battle between Soul and the Spirit than a dance of Lovers, Loving.

I see it like this: as with all things it’s about integrating two truths.

The personal ‘me’. my soul, is affected by lots of stuff- my history, partner’s dynamics and wounds and troubles and issues and good things like personality and preference. The higher or spiritual ‘I’ remains aware and unattached- understands that as a being I am complete within myself.

Most of us have a LOT of soul healing to do in order to relate consciously: we need to examine our psychological legacies from our family of origin. We need to explore our self esteem issues in a safe way. We have unmet needs driving our behaviour stemming from trauma or abuse or poor attachment. We need to build trust with people we can trust. We have to grow our identities as adults- consciously sifting through the beliefs and ideas poured into us by society and schooling. We have to awaken our beautiful feminine self through the body and the emotions that inform our aliveness in this fleshy world.

And we need a spiritual awakening. We need to wriggle out of the tight shell of this “me”- and begin to dissolve those false barriers between our inner aspects, “them” out there and “That” out THERE. We have some spiralling upwards to move towards, a little bit of letting go to accomplish. We have an ego to transcend and an identity to expand. We have a calling to meet the Sky.

When we are doing the inner work of both Soul and Spirit we are healing, truly. Then there isn’t that dark, manipulative neediness which can occur with very wounded or scared or defensive people.  And we have two beings choosing to delight each other because it’s an overflow of a happy inner world- or reach out spontaneously for connection, holding and understanding when the inner skies are cloudy. There really is a sense of freedom to love and be loved.


Mooji on completing the threads of the past

What is the medicine for cultural wounding? What is your medicine?

Walking the Path home: Jon Allen ‘Going Home’

Dakini Shakti teaching on Love and Relationship for Seekers

Exploring anthroposophy while walking a tantric path…

I went to the most interesting lecture on Saturday afternoon.

Especially interesting to me because of the words “reverse kundalini” in the write up about the event.

Rudolf Stiener apparently believed that the age of rising kundalini in order to awaken was complete- ended. He believed that the chakras were dormant in humans through disuse and that in the new consciousness arising a ‘head down to heart’ process should occur instead (what to do with the three lower chakras the speaker did not say). He went so far as to use the symbol of an inverted chalice to show this idea.


Steiner believed that with his methods of meditation “new” or better aspects of the chakras would appear eg 6 new petals of the heart lotus can be created; then the other 6 that have fallen into disuse will automatically return. He did not recommend any of the old methods believing that they only awakened half the petals.

He recommended a series of heart meditations and believed that this heart centered wisdom coupled with knowledge would more accurately reflect the new consciousness post Christ.


Here is an example of a Rudolf Steiner Heart Meditation:

The Heart-Forces Meditation

Sit upright. Close your eyes. Do not be distracted. Move your concentration from thinking to not thinking. You may concentrate on the ancient cosmic rule “As above, so below”. Immerse yourself in imagination for some time. You may use another form of concentration, such as the Anapana method.

This is the main exercise, performed in seven breaths. Breathe regularly, whatever rhythm is suitable for you, but for the mantras, observe the following method… Deeply breathe in for a comfortable duration of time. Breathe out for double this duration. Then hold your breathe for twice the time of the outward breathe. During the held breath, fill your consciousness solely with these words:

I am
– Feel the Third Eye Chakra, repeat the mantra twice
– this signifies the self

It thinks
– Feel the Throat Chakra, repeat the mantra twice
– this signifies the impersonal thought

She feels
– Feel the Heart Chakra, repeat the mantra twice
– this signifies the impersonal feeling

He wills
– Feel the Solar Plexus, perform this mantra once
– this signifies the divine

Spend some time enwrapping yourself in your own imagination of a divine ideal of your choice.

I didnt feel that the speaker made much of a case for the old ways being defunct, particularly in the light of many of my friends and colleagues across many spiritual systems Reiki, Tantra, Wicca, Yoga who find through lived experience that their chakras are alive and well. The speaker very firmly stated that he did not believe anthroposophy and yoga to be compatible. He stated clearly that Rudolf Steiner’s principles are different to the new age teachings.

I asked about the impact of patriarchy on Rudolf Steiner’s philosophy but he was unable to really answer. He stated that anthroposophy is the only truly genderless spiritual or occult system.

Given my experience with Tantra and Kundalini I am nonplussed, but given my recent enjoyable, compatible experiences with Goethean science I am intrigued. It’s my (still developing) contention that these two systems or methods may be compatible after all- in the way of the masculine and feminine being compatible eventually in an inner marriage or dance which celebrates unity through difference.