Has it been nearly a whole year?

I will be relaunching this blogsite this month, with so many personal changes informing  my work now, expect  new articles and news soon!

I have recently been exploring the methodology of in depth enquiry into the sensory world, and its been a delightful and trusty tool for awareness…

“We play in the jungle gym of sexuality until our spirit takes us out into a clear field where we can see the stars, the ten thousand radiances of enlightenment. One of those radiances is the dance of sexuality.” Rama

Why Sessions? Why would someone book an ‘intimate’ session with a man or woman who is not their lover?

A client asked me this recently, and at the time I listened only to the emotion of her answer- didn’t try to frame a motivational response. The question has stayed with me, though, and I have a number of good answers:

1. Creating a new reference point: The purpose of a counselling (or bodywork) session is to facilitate supportive change. In other words not just to talk about newness or other perspectives on a problem, but to experience a new way of being that has not been felt before. Talking about the love a non-abusive father has for a daughter is very different to simply being held lovingly and appropriately by a male healer, while grieving the hurt of the past abuse. A deep energetic impartation occurs which the client can carry with them, compared to a conversation.

2.Experiencing skill and mastery from a partner: Professionals have worked hard, and worked deep with themselves to bring artful skill to the session; we have learned technique and we have learned presence. Think of the difference between a massage from your partner, and a massage from a touch therapist!! They do not compare.No matter how lovingly your partner tries to get that headache trigger spot behind your head, it’s not the same as having the professional find it, work on it and fix it. Trust is a big factor in removing guardedness in the body- and the amount of gentle skill that one brings is as important a factor as willingness and kind enthusiasm.

3. A personal, sacred session space: A session is ALL about the client. It is one of the few times in life where you can relax into your own experience and awareness; drop the need to ‘take care’ of the Other. Letting go is so much easier to learn when the roles are clear. After 5 minutes you are not worrying that the Other is bored -they are completely intent on being available to you. When you can focus on your own process, you can go deeper into it. Giving yourself permission to feel and express can begin with session experiences of how healing and ‘right’ that allowing can be. Moving this newfound confidence into your relationship is then easier.

4. a place of no judgement: deeper than experiencing the focused attention of the facilitator is knowing that there is no judgement at all about you, what comes up for you, or how you choose to live your life. We have much experience of the shades of grey in life, and we embrace people’s experiences and challenges as meaningful and full of significance. The relief of being authentic is a delightful experience. Think of a midwife who can honestly say she has heard women make some WEIRD noises in her time. Well, therapists have seen and heard much too! You couldn’t embarrass, surprise or freak us out if you tried (Although, you are welcome to try !!).

5. Its been my experience: I have been privileged to both participate in and facilitate these experiences of trust, intimacy and vulnerability. Every single time has been illuminating, kind, helpful, deeply unifying and healing. I have fond memories of very magickal healing moments, and the beautiful people who I shared them with. Tears turning to pleasure, shame to delight.

I highly recommend considering opening the door on more than counselling…

LifeCraft: the sacred arts of life

I used to believe that the Spirit, the Soul (the mind, the emotions and the will) and the Body had varying levels of acceptability or sacredness. That each aspect was of varying importance or priority- the mind and the will mattered most; the emotions least of all. Now I percieve things differently- I feel things differently. I have encountered so many new ideas and delightful experiences that my world view has expanded again. Into new territory.

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In the book “Care of the Soul” Thomas Moore writes of the indefinable quality of Soul, and yet describes a texture of experience that it foundational in all our lives. His book is about cultivating this quality with consciousness and skill- crafting Life as artisans.

I feel that the quality he struggles to capture accurately and name with certainty is the Feminine- the emotional body or the Belly (as termed by Baba Dez Nicholls). The emotions are in fact the Will; are our seat of personal power.

A conceptual framework of great use in working with the Soul includes the following ideas. We are a Consciousness (Mind (air)- Masculine) animated by a Soul (Life Force (water)- Feminine) which lives in a physical Body (Matter (earth) – Feminine) and is connected by Heart (Presence (fire) – Masculine) and transformed by Spirit (Awareness (akasha-void-potential) – Genderless).

(These definitions are about as hard and fast as the idea that the Sun is the Masculine and the Moon is the Feminine- given that thousands of years ago the globe worshipped these aspects in complete reverse. Holding onto any one perspective becomes ultimately unproductive but they serve as a starting point. I hope you can enjoy what these concepts offer, and let go of what does not suit you…)

We can accomplish transformative personal work in any- or all- of these domains because they are inextricably linked- dependent even- on each other. In fact it is well known that should one area contain a dysfunctional or wounded asthetic it will permeate all of our beings and cause hinderances to growth in any area.

LifeCraft is about cultivating and mastering aliveness within the Body, the Mind, the Soul and the Spirit. Each has its own language, function, capacity and needs. Of course these ideas are really just a framework for thinking about these things. The goal of LifeCraft practice is the dissolution of any apparent seperation within and the achievement of deep unity inside our beings.

I haven’t said much about sexuality with all of this: but it is a fundamental cornerstone of my practice. For some clients it is the entry point for transformation and forms a nexus for meeting themselves in totality.

Namaste,

P.S Masculine and Feminine do not relate to male and female gender except through our limited cultural conditioning. We are invited to fully embody both, no matter which little box we might tick on registration forms!