Working with our resistances

Although my personal experiences over the last two weeks may seem on the surface to have little to do with orgasm or bliss, the startling truth is that they fundamentally do. All of my life does. My tantra teacher, Dr Shakti Malan, often asks us: How much Bliss can you stand? (She knows that fears and constriction must be moved through time and again)

Financial pressure, the loss of my cat, a house-breaking, needing to move, changes in parenting, crisis at my son’s school all took me to a place within that I had resisted for a long time. My friend and colleague, Stephen Tredrea, had encouraged me for a while to go into my fears rather than resist them.

He rightly knew that the universe would realise them for me as completely as necessary in order that I could ‘get’ this lesson and cross its threshold. He rightly felt that it was time to dance with the chaos rather than run from it. I was SO at my edge that it seemed my mind was holding on tighter than ever.

What changed for me? What support do you need for you to enjoy your shift?

I started with the fears. I started with expressing and ‘experiencing’ (by becoming aware of where and how they felt within my body and emotions) the fears with a supportive ally. I moved, with baby steps at first, towards the very thing that I so badly wanted to run from. Events began to unfold which took me further into those frightening possibilities. I abandoned myself at some point to the process. I consciously agreed with myself to enter into this unknown place within. I used process work tools to move through the places of pain where I had less awareness. I began to trust my own sense of knowing in my body and emotions. Instead of feeling like the external situation had all the answers I needed I began to use my own personal power to change.

Support came. I have been very much held by various people in the past few days. I experienced love and energetic support like never before. I was able to shake off (very physically and energetically) the trauma of the robbery and these changes through a sound healing session with friend and colleague Chris Tokalon. I could not have done it on my own. His mastery made the difference in that moment of need.

The wisdom of beliefs such as “So above; so below”, “First inside, then outside”, “As a person thinketh in their heart so are they” is more true for me today than yesterday. I felt the outer realm of the material shift as I let go on the inside. I began to find myself as a creative being again.

And then the material support came; suddenly I was aware again of being connected within the divine web of life: and the “doings” flowed with ease into my needs being met.

Where ever you find yourself today in relation to those things that you fear, that constrain you, that drain your life of colour- come and find the support you need to hear and then heal your life. It is painful at times. But more painful than resisting? Not from where I stand today…

Namaste,

Cathwrynn

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Graeme
    May 31, 2010 @ 13:18:31

    Internal equinimity is the universal solution to personal recognition and acceptance. It is only through external, non-judgemental support, guidance and understanding that smooths the path to that composure.

    Reply

  2. Katharine
    May 31, 2010 @ 14:09:56

    Thank you for sharing your process so beautifully and openly!
    K.

    Reply

  3. Dan
    May 31, 2010 @ 15:38:06

    You are inspiring Cath

    Reply

  4. makingspace1
    Jun 02, 2010 @ 08:38:55

    Thank you for this. It’s exactly in line with my own thinking/feelings/shifts in the last few days. I especially appreciate reading about trusting the process even and especially where it feels painful; and allowing support in. Thanks so much.

    Reply

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